BbHaOz on Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Today is the day i rejected a friend who are in need of money ... a promise i made to myself tat i will help unless no money is involved ... but for as today, i shall continue my new philosophy of life.
years back, i r'ber the very 1st tat i hold up the shirt of a friend of mine and telling him tat i'm not rich and dun kept saying tat i'm rich or i'm whose grandson and the future boss of whtever ... i've enough ... dun portray me in such a way can? i'm fortunate tat i'm borned in this family where i got no worries abt money? * come on! i also earned the money myself and i really hated the feeling tat when u think of money u think of me 1st.
1st the money is theirs not mine!!! * my father also encourages me to work and earn the money myself ... training me to be dependent as well as to know tat money are hard to earn...tat why the expectation frm them is quiet pressurizing sometime. i eveb feel like breaking down.
2nd - Dun think becos u had tat money and u can win lotsa respect frm pplz and as well as gals juz like the views of that connard. if money can buylove, that person onli love ur money and not u. *unless u are some handsome and beautifl pplz with lotsa money and influence...there is a lil in singapore ya
3rd - i very happy tat when friend are in trouble, they think of me 1st..but in a wrong way of thinking...$$$ is all they can think of when thinking of me. I hated tat feeling and becos of tat, i lifted up tat guy uop with my arms and shouted right in front of his face inside the teacher room.
i wan to be MYSELF and onli myself. without having to involve my family/background inside.
izzit becos of my character tat i ranked friendship very important to me? *tat why becos of tat, i missed out a lot of thing abt myself and i cant differentiate friendship with relationship.
A feeling tat becos of my family background, friends wan to know me becos tat i can provide them with wht they need if they needed help... $$$ is really a senstive case...even own son can kill their own parent becos of $$$ and dun need to say, friend can also become enemy becos of money...
I've choose not to this time round becos of tat feeling tat is holding me back and not that i trust him a not. A feeling abt friendship - did ur'ber me and ask me becos i can provide tat help to u? the time spent togther are getting less and i dun know wht u are really doing now...this make me feel insercure abt ur availbilities? maybe after a few get together session juz like b4, den the feeling will be gone cos i know tat u are still around me.
BbHaOz wrote his history at
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